Interviewed by Dr. Shellie Hipsky
SHELLIE
I know that right now is a strange time in our world’s history. We’re in the middle of the COVID crisis and you’re living in New York as a litigating attorney and business owner. Could you explain to our readers what that’s been like in the last few weeks?
KALPANA
Collectively, it’s the worst time for everyone in the city right now. We’re all facing not only a public health crisis, but there are potentially a lot of lives that are going to be lost during the pandemic, and this has been reflected in how everyone feels in the city. I’ve spoken to several colleagues, friends, and family. Everyone is worried about how we are going to contain the virus and the spread of it in the city. I feel the same way. I have gratitude for the fact that my world continues from my home and I can stay here and continue working on the ongoing legal matters, business development, and plans, but I certainly feel the pain in the city–a lot of people are losing their livelihoods and do not have certainty in these extremely uncertain times. There is an impact on how legal matters will be resolved in this changing world.
SHELLIE
Do you have words of wisdom for people who are living through these uncertain times or any inspiration?
KALPANA
There are many stages of handling secondary trauma impacting everyone in the lockdown, and I keep going through them all, maybe once a day! You read about people getting sick, overwhelmed health care workers, and the changing directives on how to protect yourself. There is no simple answer.
But I’ve reached a point of understanding and acceptance that this is global, and not a short-term problem. This pandemic is creating havoc globally for everyone and what we know right now is that we have to stay safe at home, and do our best to contain the spread of this virus. One thing that stuck with me is something I read recently, and it has become kind of my motto. I am a very social person so it’s very difficult for me to isolate by myself and this sentence gave me a lot of courage because it said, “If you can’t go outside, go inside.”
New York City has transformed overnight. People are adjusting to working from home, keeping a safe distance, and learning new ways to make the most of limited space. Without a clear path, we all are exploring uncharted territory
I have personally adjusted to working and cooking all meals from home. I am working with clients who are in economic stress because they have to make tough decisions.
It’s important more than ever to reassess how to provide counseling and support to clients.
I have prioritized focus on my mental and physical health. I can do this by creating structure, and implementing systems in my legal practice that I never had time to execute before.
In addition, I feel meditation has helped me. I also have been very grateful that a couple of months ago I signed up for a six-week Krav Maga program on self-defense. I had to commit to three classes a week in this program and when I joined it, I did so because I actually thought I was desperate for a change in my routine. I enjoyed the Krav Maga program so much and l learned a lot about the nutritionally dense eating plan that I committed to it whole-heartedly I signed up for the next level in the program, and it coincided with the start of the quarantine. The instructors have been amazing. They have been airing classes online and every other day my trainer checks in with me to make sure that I am going to show up for class.
SHELLIE
That’s good, and it’s a good outlet. I think those physical outlets are important and as you said, “Going within,” is so important. Self-care is so vital especially to our readers doing this time. What other ways are you practicing self-care during this time?
KALPANA
Committing to self-care is not automatic in this time of upheaval for people. We all have a lot of secondary trauma and fear of the unknown. I’m optimistic and cheerful most of the time, but many of my friends and I are feeling a lot of stress. As a city, we’ve known about economic collapses, terrorism, or weather-related threats that we have all survived together, but this is a new beast that we are dealing with right now. We all have to figure out how to cope with the new normal. Figuring how to keep up with friends and relationships.
So, are there days that I want to get up and have my salted-caramel ice cream for breakfast? Yes. And I’m allowing myself to do that. It’s not in my program, but you know what, I can’t get up and make the healthiest breakfast every day. And that’s ok.
SHELLIE
It is. it really is. And I think people really do need to know that right now. We all need the one indulgence during this crazy time where everything feels so heavy. So many of our readers are high powered women like us who are always so strict on our diets and so strict on what we need to be doing physically, emotionally, and mentally and we’re so driven. I think that sometimes you just have to give yourself permission to live a little, especially when there is so much rotten stuff going on around us, so thank you for that.
KALPANA
Well, that is one of the forms of self-care. It does not come easily to allow yourself the indulgences but this is also not the time for a strict regime.
SHELLIE
So, tell me about have you had to change your business at all through this?
KALPANA
I am greatly aware that there will be a need to pivot. The core of my practice is litigation, so I help people with business disputes such as fighting startups or disagreements, contract breaches, trademark and copyright litigation, and complex copyright and trademark litigation which I have been doing for a long time. Most people don’t know they can stand up because they are not used to litigating. They’re not used to being the person who wants to file a lawsuit.
Currently, we are also guiding clients on preparing for contingencies through estate planning, trusts and wills packages, restructuring of businesses, and renegotiating payments contracts.
Employers are also trying to figure out how to provide for their employees. It is important to make sure employees are safe, and to make sure their rights are guaranteed. Now, because of COVID, everyone is frightened about their pay cuts, being laid off, and they don’t know what’s right. Will they be allowed to take vacations? Is this going to count as time off? What if they can’t come to work, will their employer lay them off? There are several new issues that are unfolding, and employees are worried, but so are employers who want to do right by their employees.
SHELLIE
Absolutely.
KALPANA
Yes, so it’s a conundrum. I have advised a lot of business owners with whom we spoke within the first three days when the quarantine was being discussed and was about to happen. We needed to quickly read up on laws and emerging legislation and directions about what is the proper way to handle employees in all the various situations. These are things that I had to suddenly jump into and quickly brush up on what is likely to happen in these scenarios.
The one thing I quickly realized was that life as we knew it has changed. This is the new world for the next year. We will be picking up the pieces of how we have been suddenly shattered by this thing and making sure that we can provide the correct advice to people, protect businesses and help them grow. Or if you have been treated in a discriminatory or unlawful manner, we can guide you as to what you’re rights are.
And to add to that, we all feel more. We’re not afraid of feeling this emotion right now. This is something that is going to cause so much grief to families economically. Even the PTSD of being trapped in your apartment will become significant, because it is one of the most important truths about our life—the freedom to go about our business and our life by going outside. Once that’s taken away, there is a very important part of you that has been snatched away from you. It is for the greater good. There is no doubt about it, but we have to adjust to it.
SHELLIE
We do and we will. How have you been able to rely on people in your own sisterhood, the women who are in your tribe, so to speak. How have you been able to stay connected with them or with family if you’re trapped in your apartment? How have you been able to do that during this?
KALPANA
I would say that it’s giving me the time to count my blessings because I’m the youngest of three sisters, and they know that I’m living by myself and to them this is very unacceptable. My sister lives here with her kids in the city, and she wanted me to move in with her but I refused. I said, “If I get sick, it’s my responsibility. I can isolate myself in my apartment and heal.” We rely on Zoom communities and meetings. My family checks in on me every day. Close friends have promised to check in on each other. If you don’t pick up your phone, and you don’t want to talk to me because you’re down, just let me know that you’re ok. We are building a support system.
SHELLIE
What would you like to say to the Global Sisterhood?
KALPANA
Use this time to pause and tend to the parts of us that need healing. Organize thoughts around actions toward growth plans that have been frozen or that you didn’t have the attention or time think about peacefully before. Personally, I’ve realized as I’m suddenly working from home that a lot of the times in the past when I said that I didn’t have time for something, I wasn’t creating time for it. The only thing we have is now. If we start acting on one point or one aspect of our big plans or small plans, not necessarily the business plans, but self-growth and confidence plans, then we are better for tomorrow.
