When I was growing up in England everyone told me to just push through challenges, stay strong, “get on with it”, and keep moving forward. I was continually reminded of the concept of the “stiff upper lip.” While resilience is valuable, there’s another path to healing that many of us overlook, and one that I wasn’t familiar with until recently, and that is listening to our emotions and paying attention to the physical sensations in our bodies that come with them. For women, this process can be transformative, helping us reconnect with our true selves and overcome emotional wounds. Understanding our body’s responses and learning to honor our feelings are crucial steps in breaking free from cycles of stress, anxiety, and unresolved trauma.
Emotions are more than just feelings; they’re messengers. When we experience sadness, anger, or joy, our bodies respond in unique ways. Sometimes, that means a tightness in the chest, a knot in the pit of the stomach, or a sense of lightness and warmth. These physical sensations can provide clues about how we’re truly feeling and what we need in any given moment.
Yet, many of us were never taught to listen to these signs. Instead, we’ve learned to suppress, ignore, or even be ashamed of our emotions. It’s easy to see emotions as a distraction, especially when society often labels them as “irrational” or “weak.” But in reality, emotions are signals from the body that alert us to what’s happening inside,psychologically, spiritually, and physically.
Our bodies are incredibly intelligent and hold onto experiences in ways that the mind may not even be aware of. When we experience stressful or traumatic events, our nervous system stores that tension in our muscles, organs, and connective tissues. If we don’t take time to process these experiences, the body continues to hold onto them, potentially leading to physical symptoms like chronic pain, headaches, or digestive issues.
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a leading expert in trauma, emphasizes in his book that the body indeed “keeps the score.” His research shows that unprocessed emotions can manifest in the body as illness or physical discomfort. This makes learning to tune in and listen to our bodies an essential part of healing. When we acknowledge our physical response, like tightness in the chest or heaviness in the shoulders, we create an opportunity to understand what our bodies are trying to communicate.
One powerful way to reconnect with our emotions and physical responses is through somatic practices, which involve becoming more aware of the body’s sensations. Techniques like deep breathing, body scanning during meditation, or gentle movement such as yoga, can help us notice where tension or discomfort lies. For instance, if you’re feeling anxious, you might sense a flutter in your chest. Recognizing that sensation and exploring it with curiosity instead of judgment can help you better understand what might be causing the anxiety.
Somatic practices also teach us that emotions don’t need to be feared or pushed away. Instead, they can be embraced as part of a healthy process of self-discovery. By taking time to notice our body’s signals, we’re actively engaging in healing, allowing emotions to flow rather than stay stuck. It’s not about overanalyzing each feeling but about acknowledging and respecting what we sense.
Our nervous system plays a crucial role in how we experience emotions and physical sensations. When we feel threatened or overwhelmed, our body may enter “fight, flight, or freeze” mode. This is a survival response that can cause rapid heartbeats, shallow breathing, or muscle tension. While this response is natural, staying in this heightened state for too long can lead to burnout and physical health problems.
Learning to regulate the nervous system is key to healing. Techniques like grounding, where you focus on the sensation of your feet on the floor, or deep breathing can help shift the nervous system from a state of stress to one of calm. Practicing these techniques regularly makes it easier to return to a balanced state when life gets tough.
Listening to our bodies and emotions doesn’t mean becoming overwhelmed by them. It’s about creating space for them to be expressed and processed in a healthy way. When we allow ourselves to feel emotions without judgment, we can release tension and let go of the stories or patterns that no longer serve us.
As a Somatic Trauma-Informed Coach I teach my clients one way to do this is by using gentle self-inquiry. Ask yourself questions like, “Where do I feel this emotion in my body?” or “What does this sensation want to tell me?” By taking a compassionate and curious approach, we can discover deeper layers of our experiences, leading to insights that promote healing.
True healing happens when we integrate both our emotions and physical sensations into our everyday awareness. This holistic approach helps us not only feel better emotionally but also supports our physical health. For women, especially, who often take on the roles of caregivers and nurturers, it’s essential to practice listening to our inner world. When we do, we not only heal ourselves but also set an example for the next generation about the power of self-awareness and self-care.
The journey towards wholeness starts with small steps. Take a few moments each day to tune into your body, notice your breathing, or even place a hand on your heart and simply ask, “What am I feeling right now?” You might be surprised by the answers that arise when you start to listen deeply.
By allowing emotions to surface and paying attention to the wisdom of the body, we invite healing, resilience, and growth. We all deserve to live in a state where our emotions are not our enemies but our friends, guiding us toward a more empowered and authentic life.
