There is one guarantee you need no one to make you. Change is coming. It’s inevitable, it’s certain, it’s consistent and whether you want it or not, you will experience it.

Change can bring a lot of wonderful, beautiful and terrific things in your life. We all know it can also trigger you and send you spiraling into desperation and despair.

Change is like a coin. There are two sides, and depending on which side lands face up, your outcome could be drastically different.

Sometimes we prepare to face change head-on and, like preparing for a wedding, we work to ensure every “T” is crossed, “I” is dotted, and nothing’s left to chance. And then sometimes, change comes barreling into our lives from left field, drop-kicking our carefully laid plans, forcing us to question everything, leaving us further confused and dismayed.

No one is immune, and no one gets to escape unaffected.

Here’s another constant.

You can embrace change. When sudden, unwieldy and frantic change starts to invade your world, you can face it head-on, conquer it, and use it as your greatest ally and gift.

Imagine yourself going with the flow, letting go of the wheel, and letting change lead the way. Choose to see change as a catalyst lighting the fuse that propels you into the next place that can be an entirely stunning new experience and way of being.

Those new experiences could look like a new relationship, a new job, a new passion, a new purpose.

Change could bring you the opportunity to create new spaces, a new place to live, a new hobby, a new appreciation for life, a new way of thinking, and a new opportunity.

Because change is inevitable, you can stop trying to keep it at bay. You’re off the hook. You can just go on the ride and know that this could be a new journey of self-discovery.

The next time change takes you on a roller coaster ride or a path down some lonely, dark road, let these two statements be your navigational voice assistant: “Everything is temporary” and “This too shall pass.”

You can also remember that you have already survived change, you got through change in the past, and you can get through this next battle with change, too.

Every time I feel the angst of what change does to me physically and emotionally, that tightening grip of confusion and sometimes hysteria in the pit of my belly and along my cringing jawline, I do three things. Try them for yourself.


  1. Meditate, breathe deeply, relax, and allow yourself to think of something entirely different to focus on, anything that feels good and takes your mind off of what’s worrying you.
  2. Appreciate everything, even the smallest things, and begin flooding gratitude to everything in your life.
  3. Choose to redefine yourself by asking, “Who do I need to become?” Allow your mind to come up with positive solutions to that question.


These three small steps help me to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again, before the next set of changes comes barreling into my life.


Darieth Chisolm is a visibility and multi-media strategist who coaches women to become confident and outrageously successful. She is also a cyber harassment activist through her organization 50 Shades of Silence.